SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A GOOD GIRL
And why it is draining your life force....
Are you the one who always gets it “right”?
Are you the gold star teachers pet “Golden Girl”?
You always follow the rules.
You get the praise (and you love it).
You restrict and make sure your femininity is presented to be instagram worthy but nothing that would allow you to be seen as “too much”.
Every word, every hair, manicured according to what the masses can recognize as safe and yet secretly you still feel insecure and unworthy?
And let’s not forget that you are exhausted from “keeping up appearences”
Here’s how you might recognize yourself in the “Good Girl” pattern — and why it’s keeping you from the full aliveness that is your birthright:
1 - PERFECTIONISM
Not just a Standard — It’s a Survival Strategy
You believe if you just do it perfectly — the outfit, the post, the boyfriend, the breakfast, the morning routine — you’ll finally feel safe.
Loved. Unassailable.
But perfectionism is not the path to peace. It’s a trauma response dressed up in safe Instagram Neutral tones — rooted in the fear that any whiff of your humanity will cost you your belonging.
2 - EXTERNAL ORIENTATION
Do you even know what YOU want and like?
Some people like alcohol, you are hooked on the crack of approval and validation.
“Did they approve?” “Am I being too much?” “Will they still want me if I say no?”
You may feel sovereign on the surface — you’ve got the language of empowerment down — but deep down, you still calibrate your self-worth by how others respond to you.
Your compass is outside you.
And that’s why you feel lost.
And then you feel betrayed and resentful when you follow something and it doesn’t “work”.
3 - RESTRICTION IS YOUR DEFAULT
Not just with food, (but there is a reason this category houses the “eating disorders”
that have rigid obsession with food)
But aslo with expression. With pleasure. With needs.
You don’t just hold back — you grip.
You clench. You curate. You control. Because some part of you still believes:
“If I let go, I’ll be too much. And they’ll leave.”
So you shrink to stay safe.
And then you imprison yourself inside of the “standards” of your perfectionism
4 - YOU HAVE A KINK FOR PUNISHMENT AND SHAME
Not perfect enough? Punish yourself?
Didn’t get it right? Shame fest.
Trying to figure out how to act and emulate what’s going on around you feeling like an imposter and thinking you can just beat yourself into being loved and belonging.
Your sensations and hunger and desire all feel dangerous and so you hate them into submission. And you hate them in others as well.
My experience is that when women begin to wake up to their “good girl” patterning they come back to LIFE.
They reclaim their energy they had dedicated to control and they begin to live with more zest and brightness. Creativity blossoms.
So what’s in the way? I’m going to break down the exact architecture of this pattern in my upcoming masterclass!
SUNDAY June 22 @ 3:30pm pst
