Wow 😭 thank you for this gift. I really resonated with losing yourself to find yourself. I’ve been seeing a pattern where I look at myself from the outside and how I will be perceived, instead of feeling what’s going on inside. It’s a way I try to control everything so I won’t be perceived in a negative way. Originally it was a safety mechanism as a child. Now, I’m learning to stay with myself. I’ve had a similar experience with drugs, alcohol, and men. I’ve rejected and hated my past often, but my new thing is “what if I’m just so gentle and loving and proud of myself?”
I find a lot of resistance to this idea because it makes me sad and feel a bit nihilistic - like what's the point of striving and building if it all falls apart and doesn't matter? This could be arising from my ego that wants significance and ultimately not to be separated from people I love... a feeling I need to work with. Thank you for sharing this and being a bit of a trigger.
I think anytime we can let go of striving and move into surrendering into the flow of what our soul and God wants. It doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy building sandcastles! Just some perspective for being less hard on ourselves about what we achieve and don’t, or our perfect imperfection.
So beautiful, thank you.
Wow 😭 thank you for this gift. I really resonated with losing yourself to find yourself. I’ve been seeing a pattern where I look at myself from the outside and how I will be perceived, instead of feeling what’s going on inside. It’s a way I try to control everything so I won’t be perceived in a negative way. Originally it was a safety mechanism as a child. Now, I’m learning to stay with myself. I’ve had a similar experience with drugs, alcohol, and men. I’ve rejected and hated my past often, but my new thing is “what if I’m just so gentle and loving and proud of myself?”
Yes and maybe it’s not even proud. Maybe it’s just gentle forgiveness and compassion.
Proud seems egoic, but it’s more.. liking who I am and feeling good about that without needing validation (my parents to be proud of me).
I find a lot of resistance to this idea because it makes me sad and feel a bit nihilistic - like what's the point of striving and building if it all falls apart and doesn't matter? This could be arising from my ego that wants significance and ultimately not to be separated from people I love... a feeling I need to work with. Thank you for sharing this and being a bit of a trigger.
I think anytime we can let go of striving and move into surrendering into the flow of what our soul and God wants. It doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy building sandcastles! Just some perspective for being less hard on ourselves about what we achieve and don’t, or our perfect imperfection.
Oh Perri this is so beautiful and really speaks to me. Thank you for this, it feels like music in my heart
I am so glad it got in....